


Breaths

by thealphagate_archivist



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Established Relationship, M/M, challenge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-03-20
Updated: 2006-03-20
Packaged: 2019-02-02 17:39:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,363
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12731232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thealphagate_archivist/pseuds/thealphagate_archivist
Summary: Jack looks back at some of the moments that took his breath away





	Breaths

**Author's Note:**

> Note from the archivists: this story was originally archived at [The Alpha Gate](https://fanlore.org/wiki/The_Alpha_Gate), a Stargate SG-1 archive, which began migration to the AO3 in 2017 when its hosting software, eFiction, was no longer receiving support. To preserve the archive, we began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in November 2017. We e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are this creator and it hasn't transferred to your AO3 account, please contact us using the e-mail address on [The Alpha Gate collection profile](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/thealphagate).

"Life is not measured by the breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away" 

That's a rather philosophical idea for someone whose life is normally measured by the medals pinned to his uniform. However, if those words were to be taken at face value, then Colonel Jonathan "Jack" O'Neill led a life beyond measure. He had been fortunate enough to see sights in this universe that only a small handful of individuals would ever see, or possibly even know existed. He had been present for the opening of the Stargate. He had walked on planets literally hundreds of thousands of light years away, and had encountered aliens too amazing for even the most vivid of imaginations to dream up. He had flown, ridden in and blown up alien spacecraft. 

He had watched in unabashed amazement as his 2IC, Major Samantha Carter, consistently managed to pull off more technological miracles than you could shake a hat at. He had witnessed Teal'c, the biggest, most intimidating member of the entire SGC, coax a frightened child out from behind a bush with a gentleness that would put Mary Poppins to shame. He had stared in awe as Dr. Daniel Jackson won over countless individuals and entire cultures with his charm, intelligence and skill. 

But conversely, he also had had moments that crept in like a thief in the night and stole his breath from him, leaving him numb with a grief so debilitating he often wondered how he had ever survived.. He had watched helplessly, unable to do a damn thing as Skarra had been chosen as a host for the Gou'ald. He had been unable to help Kawalski and had had no choice but to order the gate shutdown, effectively killing both the symbiote and his friend. He had seen Carter taken over by the Tokra, and if that wasn't enough, also by some weird alien computer entity. He had seen children used as weapons and their childhoods and personalities obliterated in an alien world's extremely skewed quest for knowledge. And he had seen his team die, several times, always painfully. 

He had heard the shot that stole the life from his son as it simultaneously ripped the air from his lungs. As he rushed into the house with Sara right behind him he prayed he was wrong, unfortunately he wasn't. The sight that had greeted him was literally the stuff nightmares are made of. There, lying on the cream colored carpet, in an ever increasing pool of garish crimson, was Charlie. It was a moment that plunged his soul into darkness and threatened to destroy his sanity. Gone was the humor, the light, that definitive spark that had always announced his arrival. In that one horrifying moment, when Charlie's heart had beat for the last time and he had exhaled a tiny puff of air, Jack O'Neill had stopped living and began merely to exist.

Waiting. Watching. Praying that the enemy would get lucky and put an end to his guilt, his never ending nightmare, the continuous torture as his body struggled with the simple act of remembering to breathe.

Then came his salvation. He thought that for once, his prayers had been answered. It was a straight forward mission, go through the gate, assess the threat to Earth, send the team back home and detonate the bomb. Protect Earth, do a better job than he had of protecting Charlie. Simple, easy, definitely doable. A suicide mission. He would take his last breath knowing that this time, he hadn't failed to protect.

He should have known it wouldn't be that simple. Oh he had gone through the gate alright, had definitely determined that there was very real threat to Earth. What he had failed to do, however, was threat assess one unassuming Doctor of Archeology and Linguistics. Dr. Daniel Jackson had managed to slip right in under Jack's radar just by asking a simple question: "I don't want to die, these people don't want to die. Why are you in such a hurry?" 

Then Daniel had done something that jumpstarted Jack's heart, he dove in front of a staff blast meant to kill Jack and died himself. Jack couldn't believe it, Daniel definitely did not want to die, but he had willingly given his life for Jack's. In that one moment, a tiny spark had ignited. It had grown brighter as Jack watch Daniel, back from the dead, turn the staff weapon on Ra's guards. Little had Jack known that Daniel had just set the precedence for moments in Jack's life which would alternately devastate and thrill him. Over the next six years Daniel had died more than any of them, each time dimming the spark only to have it blaze back as he miraculously returned from the dead. 

However, the last and final time Daniel had died was from radiation poisoning, willingly sacrificing himself to save a planet from its inhabitants own paranoia and stupidity. There were no last minute miracles, no alien technologies to the rescue, there was nothing he could do but sit and watch as radiation ravaged the body of the one person he would have done anything to protect. Jack's chest had burned with the effort to inhale enough breath to whisper "Jacob. Stop." He struggled against the vice like grip around his heart and lungs as he instructed them to let Daniel go "It's what he wants." 

As the machines signaled the end of Daniel's life and his body dissolved into glowing energy, Jack once again felt himself slip into the void that is reserved for the desolate, the guilty, the damned. That familiar place where breathing is a luxury, to be taken for granted. He never imagined he would find himself there again, never thought anything could hurt as much as Charlie's death. He was wrong, so very wrong. Like Charlie, Daniel had been a gift, and like Charlie, Jack had failed to protect him. He had left him alone in a room with a deadly weapon, just like he had Charlie. And Daniel had died because of it, just like Charlie. 

This time, however, Jack knew that life could go on, that he could continue to live instead of merely existing, Daniel had taught him that, taught him to look for those moments that took your breath and left you staring in wonder at the universe around you.

However, nothing in his life could have prepared him for what he saw that day a few short months ago, for in that one instant when his breath was taken away so completely, he thought he must have forgotten how to inhale. He had turned upon hearing his name, and the sight that greeted him had left him breathless. There, walking down the steps, escorted by marines and dressed in flowing blue robes was none other than Dr. Daniel Jackson, in the flesh. Jack had never seen a more beautiful sight. 

At least not until tonight. Battered and exhausted, fresh out of the infirmary, bruised, cut, shot, bandaged, and burned, Daniel had survived the odds once again and come back to where he belonged. Jack looked down and smiled at the archeologist snuggled up against him. Daniel had one arm thrown possessively across Jack's chest and his bandaged leg was resting carefully on top of Jack's thighs. 

Jack exhaled, relief flooding his body as he studied the man sleeping peacefully beside him. For four long days Daniel had been held captive in the jungles of South America, 96 agonizing hours that Jack had struggled to rein in his fear. Fear that he and Daniel had run out of miracles. Fear that once again Jack had failed to protect that which he loved.

Jack kissed the top of Daniel's head, tightening his grip on the younger man. The ability to breathe, the beauty and simplicity of drawing a simple breath came to him easily as he held the warm, abused body in his arms. Closing his eyes, Jack buried his face in the short strands of Daniel's hair and inhaled deeply whispering in a soft voice, "Welcome home Danny, you take my breath away."

Fin.


End file.
